Grey skies 
and a wolf moon
usher in a new calendar 
to a world in marked
disarray 
and my shuddering
hormonal shift.
-
That space
that chasm 
that abyss
we each have
always so easily 
filled
buried  
choked;
by food
delectable morsels 
of which my cabinets are 
stocked 
chock full;
by booze 
a gauze of single malt 
draped over my twenties
and 
the tannic browning edges 
of mid-age
awash in aged wine;
by pot
lots and lots 
of dope
good sativa ganja 
grown under the CA sun
elevating me to myself.
-
But fifty-plus struck hard
tired
cranky forgetful 
hollowed out 
emotionally raw
menopausal.
None of my tricks
habits 
junkie tendencies 
are filling the void, 
my tolerance built up
filled up
topped up
covered up 
and covered over.
-
#dryjanuary #thankgodforyoga #redefining

